Forever Poetry

 forever poetry

When the poem about me is written, it must be a poem about you. You might even say I wrote my own poetry to make people smile or laugh. As for me, every so often one of those poems will be published and read by myself or someone else and even if I don't like it, I'll tell myself that it would have been better not to write something like this.

 Every time I do this, I feel happy. However, because this is my first post after over a year of writing this blog, I really need a little bit more time to reflect on my feelings for the topic of "forever poetry." After all, I had only just started writing this and had no idea how much time I would take to finish it. 

And now I realize what a great start there was for me. Writing has always been a hobby and thing I enjoy doing. So, for my second post, I decided to try and write about an actual job and my experience working with people to help writers develop their skills as well as other jobs or hobbies I enjoy to do that I have. The reason for this was simple - in my past job, I worked with older writers who had different ideas and opinions on certain aspects of life.

 They were able to help me grow as a writer through their knowledge and wisdom on my topics and experiences. Now that they no longer exist, I have the chance for self-reflection, which means I'll be learning a lot about myself in the process. This post is very self-reflective. It's about my personal growth as a writer because of the writers' suggestions. To this end, writing is what I've done these last few years since my college days. 

In addition, after reading a book called "The Writer" by Amy Chua, I found out that she also wrote her memoir "On Writing With Her Eyes Shut," which was very insightful on how she feels about being a woman living in America as well as her dreams to become a famous author. Since then, I've been keeping myself busy by writing fiction and other forms of writing. And I'm glad I did. For the past couple of months, I've seen many of my friends who're usually quite shy now write some poetry or short stories. 

What a nice change, right? People just find out they can express themselves better as people who are strong enough to stand up and speak up for themselves. That's why I wrote this piece about poetry. But, I'm not proud of it at all. At least, in writing poetry, I don't think I really know what I want. I think it's still very childish when I start writing poetry. Not because I don't care. However, I just don't know I've found my voice yet. And the truth is, I am very scared. Do you know that fear of losing control? Of losing my way of thinking and just allowing myself to listen to what my heart wants to hear. And so, poetry is a form of expression for the me who doesn't actually feel at peace with herself yet.

 I don't know if I'll ever stop getting frustrated with myself about how I lack confidence in being able to put words and sentences together, despite my own knowledge in English and having studied for three years in middle school. If anything, I'm embarrassed I didn't have the courage to express myself well enough. And as for saying that, I've read some of those authors who claim to have a great understanding of writing and that "poetry has only a few rules or requirements that an artist cannot fulfill."

 Well, yes, those are important guidelines of course. Yet, what I don't think about those limitations is what makes them so limiting in my eyes. No matter how good those writers are for sharing their views and thoughts on life, I don't like how they define themselves as artists. Maybe, it's because I just haven't noticed it yet and they think of themselves as writers. Or maybe they're not aware that their opinion may be different from mine, but I don't like making enemies with anyone. So, no matter what, poets today only tend towards expressing their emotions and their feelings without any real understanding of their own feelings or ideas that go beyond the surface level. 

So, it's just a waste of time when I see them sharing their ideas on Facebook or talking to each other online. Because I think most of them know little of art and what it truly entails. Why is that? Is that why they are trying to prove themselves as creators who can do that? Maybe, but I'm sure if they don't understand that at all and just believe the things they write are true and fair, nobody can judge and people may not accept them. Besides, if they have to express their true thoughts on life, let's just leave them alone. 

Unless people are capable of understanding their true feelings and have the capacity to see beyond the surface level, then who needs poetry anyway? All this is just another point I should have made earlier. Plus, we don't need any more literary knowledge from poets or aspiring ones. We should be grateful to the fact that we are able to be creative enough to create our own works. But, how come we don't have enough talent for writing? Why doesn't everyone have one? It seems like you have to have money to write as well as a family to support your writing career properly, right?

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